Sandra Sue (Cox) Kostenko

Sandra “Sandy” Sue Kostenko of Thomaston, CT–loving mother, wife and teacher–passed unexpectedly on Saturday, January 24th, 2026, surrounded by the love of her family.

Born on Friday the 13th in December of 1985 in Daytona Beach, Florida, Sandy and her mom and sister came to Connecticut in her middle school years, where she led a fulfilling life.

As a strong single mother brought into the world by a strong single mother, Sandy devoted herself to her children. When her soulmate Tommy came along, he didn’t even blink when she wanted to grow their family. Together they raised five incredibly strong, empathic, and intelligent children. She loved her babies fiercely, and adored them “to the moon and stars and back.”

All the while, Sandy relentlessly pursued her lifelong dream of teaching, and the many students whose lives she touched will miss her dearly. She taught computer class—one of her many passions—to students at B. W. Tinker Elementary School in Waterbury, then special education at City Hill Middle School in Naugatuck, Wamogo Regional High School in Litchfield and, most recently, Driggs Elementary School in Waterbury. She’d just received her M.S. in Special Education at Southern Connecticut State University, and had looked forward to using her knowledge to advocate for and support her students with special needs, and drive inclusion in education.

Sandy was an extraordinary person. She saw the good in everyone and was a friend to the world. To say that she is missed is an understatement. She leaves her husband Thomas Kostenko; their five children Melody Milagros, Kaylene Tami Kostenko, Konner Birkenberger, Johnathan Kostenko, and William “Billy” Kostenko; beloved cat Snowball and dog Zumi; dad William Cowles of Bethel; sister Mary Leary of Bethel; brother Fred Leary of Watertown; nieces Tamra and Ayla Leary; uncle Doug Cowles of Bethel; Aunt Jen Cowles and cousins Garrett and Colin Moir of Pennsylvania; 11 brothers- and sisters-in-law in Connecticut and South Carolina and many nieces and nephews; grandmother Mary Miles and uncle Mark Miles of Florida; and many friends she adopted as family. She was predeceased by her mother Tammy Bawker and grandmother Nancy Cowles.

Sandy’s family would appreciate sunflowers, her very favorite. In lieu of flowers, her family would appreciate donations via GoFundMe [ https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-for-thomas-after-sandys-sudden-loss ] and/or their meal train and small needs signup sheet at GiveInKind [ https://www.giveinkind.com/inkinds/I2D4P0S/love-for-sandy-s-family ]

Prospect Memorial/The Palmerie Family Funeral home is honored to care for Sandra and assist her family during this incredibly difficult time. Please leave your condolences, memories, and photos of Sandra for her family on her Tribute Wall on this page. 

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